Thoughts From William James

William James wrote: "In the dim background of our mind we know meanwhile what we ought to be doing...But somehow we cannot start...Every moment we expect the spell to break...but it does continue, pulse after pulse, and we float with it..."

For 7 years, I heard that voice in background, late at night, in the quiet of the evening or when I was in my office doing the work.  I sometimes caught myself saying "What am I doing here?"  I even heard my 5 year old daughter tell me that I was grouchy in the evening.

What are the main factors of resistance? There are three critical factors:

• Pragmatism Rules Our Culture:  It is easier to stay the course and enjoy the routine and security of life.
• Opinions Of Others: It could be that voice of a parent or mentor that dissuades you from moving into uncertainty and into passionate life / work.
• Your Thoughts: The ego dominated portion of your mind is telling you to stay, play it safe and not  explore the "spell" that William James mentions. 

It takes courage to start again, push against the "well intentioned opinions of others" and move into a new phase of work.

How do you break the spell? What do you do?

Well defined, strong and clear...

This defines what Edwin H. Friedman calls a well differentiated leader.  A well differentiated leader has the following key characteristics:

• Capacity to take a stand in an intense emotional system
• Saying "I" when others say "We"
• Maintaining a low anxious presence when others are in an anxious state
• Understanding where "I" ends and where "you" begins
• Focus on strength of presence vs. reaction to others

This is a great challenge for today's leaders.  I know in my various leadership roles staying well differentiated is difficult when consensus is the most valued outcome of meetings.  It takes knowing who you are and anticipating the potential triggers that may take you away from being differentiated. 

What practices do you utilize to stay well differentiated?

Employee Motivation Observations

I enjoyed facilitating a meeting with some exceptional people last week.  The topic was "leadership and motivation."  Here is what I observed during the discussion:

• You can not motivate that which you are not connected to.  In other words, the relationship is critical to success.
• You are only in control of the way you go about helping others stay motivated vs. actually motivating them.  
• Things like the words, the method, the timing and the environment are things you can control.  Ultimately, the person must decide to #1 stay motivated internally and #2 respond to your coaching.
• The old days of carrot, stick and whip are archaic approaches and ought to be carefully thought through in their proper context.
• The consensus was that Dan Pink's Autonomy, Mastery and Purpose was the most attractive in terms of motivational theories for their situation.  No disrespect to Herzberg or Vroom.
• It is the leaders job to own what you can control, which means doing all you can to "put the vision" out there for others to follow.  That is the part of purpose and autonomy in Pink's model. 

What is your next step?  I might suggest asking the question "When you show up to work every day, what are some of the emotions you feel when you walk through the door?"

Leadership In A Vacuum

Authority by position, by title, by bold and dotted lines on the organizational chart. Forget it all! Forget it all! 

A leader's job is to inspire, build exceptional trusting relationships, create a vision for the future, create connection, create trust, empower, motivate and include others in the process.  It is not forged by lines on a piece of paper or by some leader above them saying "you are leader!" 

I title this entry as Leadership In A Vacuum because every decision you make as a leader can be that if you do not do all of the above.  A vacuum disregards what is around it and is focused singularly on its own task.  This is scary!

3 Warnings Signs That Your Leadership Is In A Vacuum

•  No Credibility:  You are leading from a deficit because you sit upon a perch of your new job title and suddenly Seymour you are alone in your new office.  Solution: Engage in the work by spending time with your people while they are doing the work or better yet do their work at least to some degree.
• Upside Down Service:  They are serving you and you are not serving them.  You sit upon your perch waiting for their reports vs. bringing your reports to them in collaboration and partnership. Solution: Today find a way to help your team win. Right now! Do it! 
• They Stop Listening To You:  You can tell when this is happening.  Low meeting energy, no inspiration. Solution: Listen to them please. Start with asking them questions.  Please!

I know that reading this kinda "sucks" but come on.  Don't end up like this guy. 

Career Maximizer Group Launch

On June 20th, I will be launching the Career Maximizer group for 10 -12 individuals looking to make that career transition, role change or enhancing their job search.

The event will be from 8 - 11 at the Old National Bank on Rangeline Road in Carmel, IN.  We will spend time developing the purpose of the group, reviewing a couple of career assessments that one of the group members completed in advance, reviewing some content related to the job search and much much more.

If you are interested, feel free to send me a note and we can meet in advance to see if the group is a good fit for you.

Ego and The Job Search

Forbes contributing blogger Glenn Llopis wrote an exceptional piece on how envy can poison your career. He really cuts to heart of how Ego (our achievements, the opinions of others, our stuff) can set us on an unending treadmill of sorts.  In many ways, this ego state really ruins the sense of individuation and differentiation.

Your career, your leadership, your family and your life benefits greatly when you accept the idea that you are a masterpiece vs. a chameleon trying to become what everyone else wants you to be.  Here are 3 warning signs that you are at risk of an ego trajectory:

1. You hand your resume to someone and hope that they approve or said another way you hold back because you expect rejection.
2. Comparison of your achievements and your stuff to those of others.  Your unit of measurement is not the line of others.
3.  You cannot stand uncertainty.  In other words, your pursuit is security vs. the adventure.

What are the other warning signs you have witnessed?

Another Meeting

I have led meetings that have been an absolute disaster. I have led meetings that were inspiring and purposeful.  I have sat in meetings where I wondered: "Why am I sitting here?"

Hours of our time are spent in meetings.  There are many books, articles, newsletters, training sessions and blogs devoted to subject of meetings.   Here are 5 observations about meetings and the leaders job to have these be productive, inspiring and meaningful: (Thank you to my friends at MG RUSH for the contributing content)

1. Please, please, please, please have a meeting deliverable documented and communicated prior to the meeting to all attendees.
2. Clarify roles.  Two roles: Facilitator and Participant.  There is a meeting facilitator.  The facilitator is the objective one. The participants are the contributors to ideas and content.  Every and I mean every participant is a person and is valid. That does not mean that you have to agree with everything being shared.
3. Avoid the temptation to make sure everyone feels good about you.  This suggestion is for both the participant and the facilitator.  Your job is to not make everyone happy.
4. Consider the pre-meeting to discuss the meeting prior to entering the room. Preparation is one of the few things you can control.  Make sure you are ready.
5. Norms:  Not a bad idea to clarify meeting norms before the meeting starts.

What have been your meeting best practices?  Millions of hours are spent in meetings, why not change the tenor and make these productive?

Visualize What You Want To Create

You have heard the phrase "start with the end in mind" a thousand times.  Why do we find this challenging or sometimes impossible? The answer is that life and work sometimes necessitates us to just get what is ahead of us completed.  I don't care if you are in a life or career transition, a leadership position or a volunteer.  It is critical to take time to visualize what you want to create or lead others toward.

Here are three suggestions for you:

1. A visual learner may value drawing a picture or writing out what you want to create in your work or in your life.  Be sure to include the emotions you feel, the environment you are in and the people you are with.
2. Avoid the trap of thinking about all that you do not have, instead think about what you do have and imagine that what you wish to create is real.
3. Go through a visualization exercise.  I really like Dr. Timothy Butler's exercise for those in career transition. It takes practice, but is very powerful.

Remember that stress and anxiety force out our ability to create and imagine.  It may take time for you to gain a picture of what you want to create or do.

You Are Leaving...Now What?

Deep down in very entrails of your soul you know it is time to transition and leave the place that you have worked for months, years or even decades.  You know what I am talking about...It is called the still small voice of your soul that beckons you to make a change.

My friends did you know that there are three phases or parts to this natural phenomenon?  The first phase is called private departure.  In the private departure phase, you are the ONLY one who knows you are leaving.  The voice is loud inside and quiet on the outside.  Your tactic here is to move into some serious retrospection and answer the question: What do I want to do next?

The second phase is called the inner circle departure phase.  This is the phase that takes you out of retrospection and into extraspection (not a word) and invites others to participate in the process of departure with you.  Keep in mind that you are telling the story to your close circle and be ready for questions to explore.  Safety is key here.

The last phase is called the full circle departure phase.  (Real creative right?) In this phase, you start telling everyone that you are leaving.  You had better rehearse what you are going to tell everyone though or it will feel real strange and will not feel strong.

Three phases, three lengths of time, many emotions and yet in each phase you need a plan to navigate to the next phase.

How do you navigate those phases?

The Person and The Plan

One cannot expect to have a successful career transition without both of these elements.  When I use the word person, I am talking about clarity, preparation and skill development.  Clarity is about knowing what you want.  Preparation is about your resume, company research and interview research.  Clarity is also about having an exceptionally strong mind, which means telling yourself the right stuff.  A person who has worked on his/her person does all this work continually.

The plan is about the company list, the network, the calendar of meetings, the process you go through before each meeting and after each meeting and the execution of the plan.  The plan allows you to have a choice between fear and faith.  If you have a plan, you put your faith in your plan and evaluate it every 90 days or so, without the plan you just kinda go.

The person and the plan go hand in hand.  What are you doing to develop your personness (not a word) and your plan?

Motivation

We landed the biggest deal in company history.  Not only was our sales goal reached for the first time in 4 years, but I was to receive a nice bonus check along with the opportunity to provide nice bonus to my colleagues.  I remember this like it was yesterday.  I was excited about what had happened, yet inside I was deeply saddened.

I thought to myself, I put my heart and soul into this huge deal and yet it was not a fulfilling or rewarding experience.  Sure, I knew that we were truly helping a group of people and a company, yet I knew that I was not truly happy.  The work was not connected to a sense of cause deep down inside.

As I shared in a previous post, the financial rewards typically do not trump work that is meaningful, connected to your cause and is an overlap of who you are.

Ponder these questions:

* If you are accomplished in work that you are not feeling strongly connected to, then imagine what it would be like if you were and imagine the impact thereto.
* Does the six figure income hold you back from the work you know you were intended to create or do?
* What about certainty? Can you handle living in the unknown for a season or more so that you can be deployed in the service of others?
* What does happiness really cost?
* Why does America and Americans in general seem to promote an agenda that is all about security and less about adventure?

Seriously!