Remember the dream...

As with any process, it is easy to get distracted, deterred or disappointed.  The last "D" is dream.  It is important to not take my off the "ball" and remember that it is time to dream.  Said another way, it is my vision or my preferred future.  I have a preferred future about how I want to live and work.  I want my work to have life.  I want to have autonomy, mastery and purpose about my work and life.

I dream about words like influence, helping, empowering, teaching, inspiring, motivating, learning, contemplation, love, change, justice and hope.

I love the quote from my friends at www.careerleader.com. "I'm going to have to abandon my dreams, my career vision, for the sake of pragmatism and a job."  



DARE TO DREAM

Unexpected Tribe

Last night was spectacular...A few days ago I met with a university professor in the organizational and leadership development department at a local campus. During the conversation, he invited me to join the faculty as a part time member. I will teach a class in my subject area for now, but will have the option of teaching classes like leadership, ethics and coaching.

I loved the people and the culture. They have big hearts for their subject area and the students. They even have a career services department as a part of the college. So, perhaps this is a good in-road to higher education.

The journey continues.

Deterrent Conversations

I knew it was coming. The last time I entered into a process, where I started dreaming about doing something that I had great interest in I had a conversation that was in many ways a deterrent.

Today, I met with a owner of a coaching organization here in town. He said, "It is a bad time to get into any type of coaching and training position." Another conversation with a mentor that day "Why are you doing this?" Another conversation was "I hope you know fully well what you are leaving at your current position."

This time I was prepared. This time I will not be denied. This time I will continue to pursue this quest for the "Cause" and wake up being able to say "I love what I do" and "Feel like who I am is what I do day to day." or "What I do is an outpouring of my true cause and self."

Thank you for the feedback folks. I will at least consider it or file it away as data. This time it will not deter me from continuing this journey.

Using my virtual board of directors...

I am looking forward to Friday. The reason being is that I get to meet with my Vistage group to obtain some suggestions to help me enter into what I call Phase II of the process. The exploratory interviews are essentially complete and everything is pointing in one general area.

Here is what I need my group:

* Feedback on my journey thus far.

* Help me creating a plan for a February 1st release date

* Contacts for folks in higher education.

I am feeling a bit nervous today.

The Second Job Shadow

I was at the bottom last night emotionally. I was very disappointed because I thought maybe this would be the thing. Today, it was a completely opposite feeling or emotion. I shadowed at a campus career services office. I felt at home. It could be that it was my alma mater, but it was more about the people and the activities I witnessed.

As an analogy after I left my first job shadow, I got a flat tire. I wondered if I was stuck in this process. I was deflated. I attacked the flat tire and the disappointment and kept going.

* I saw the director teach a class regarding the job search, career emphases and networking with passion.
* I was able to help this director with a few ideas on how to teach a networking seminar to a bunch of greek students.
* The staff at this office were people of cause.

The only draw back is that they just filled two positions. Perhaps, I missed this upon my first visit. This is ok because when I first met with them, I did not know enough. Today, the director gave me a few ideas to build my resume and credentials.

Emotionally: My heart is large and feels alive for the first time in a long time. I can see how "Who I am is more about what I do" in this type of role.

First Job Shadow

This was a great experience today. I felt like it so helped me gain a clear understanding of what the position would be like, the culture, the environment, the way folks interact, the work setting and so much more. It was like trying on the suit before the purchase.

I must say I was pretty disappointed after today and that probably had a great deal to do with my expectations going into the day. My expectations were subconscious but there no doubt:

• I thought that the cause would be felt more strongly in my heart and it was not
• I did not expect to feel "trapped" going into the discussion. I think this has to do with the fact that what I would be selling was located inside the actual building. This is where I would be each and every day with little work done outside.
• I did not find a way to counsel / mentor others today. It seemed to be very focused on the goal, which makes total sense
• I did not expect that a development position would require so much project management. Of which I do not like.

Not to sound negative, let's be positive:

• I really like the head person of this location. He is just terrific and would be great to be around.
• I really like the cause of this place. My children go to school here, so let's maybe just let that be sacred and not my profession.
• The people are terrific. It would fine to come in each day and be around these folks.
• I liked telling my own personal story about the school and that felt very real to me. I so want my next position to be more connected to who I am and my story.

The week that was...

During an interview yesterday, the person said and I quote..."My personality does not mesh with the bottom line." She had gained some clarity about herself to the extent that her work in non-profit and for profit reached some clarity. I certainly resonated with this perspective.

The bottom line does not mesh with my personality either. I see myself as a hybrid between needing tangible results and intangible outcomes. I was frustrated with my life in ministry and am now frustrated with my for profit sales goal. Perhaps somewhere in between will be the next gig.

This week I noticed that I was fairly sad. My closest friend is my boss and we are breaking work ties, which is loss for both of us. I think we both set out with some ideas of how this would go and it certainly met those expectations, but it was not for as long as we thought it could be. Not to mention the place I work is full of terrific people full of energy and have been a part of my healing process since leaving the ministry.

Eckhart Tolle

"If uncertainty is unacceptable to you, it turns into fear. If it is perfectly acceptable, it turns into increased aliveness, alertness, and creativity."

I think this is a great quote and defines a bit of where I am at today in terms of this journey. My confident self loves the idea of the adventure of uncertainty. In fact, it keeps my attention. The parts of me that struggle with uncertainty and anxiety are driven to just find a solution to this uncertainty.

I acknowledge the parts of me that are anxious, fearing failure, longing for someone else to approve of me, wanting to have it all figured out. No sense in trying to get rid of these areas, they are as much a part of me as my confident self.

My confident self knows that I have what it takes and that those other parts of my ego can speak, but not direct my life. I choose to live with uncertainty and choose the adventure of this.