The Ego and The Heart

The ego longs for the approval of others, the accumulation of stuff and to measure ourselves by achievements.  These three A's can wreak havoc on the heart.  Let me expand on these ideas below:

The need for the approval of others is a trap that can completely derail your course.  It is like a drug, once you get the approval of a person you can be tempted to make it your cause.  It is also incredibly selfish.  A life is lived ultimately for the service of others.  If approval is your motive, then ultimately you are serving yourself.

The accumulation effect creates the facade that we are what we own vs. we are because we are.  In essence the profundity of this ego foci is that security and transcendence comes through the gathering of things, which ultimately only temporarily provide us what we need or want.

The achievement trap really creates an inaccurate measure or method to use to compare my achievements to yours. If I have achieved more or mine created a bigger impact than my worth must then again be greater than yours.  The absurdity here is that all of our collective achievements either for good or evil count and enhance lives.  Instead think of your life as energy being expended for the good of others.

This test will test my mettle to make sure this is about service vs. ego building.  I encourage you to recognize the Three Deadly As in your life and find ways to connect to service and others.

Test The Theory

For the next 12 months, I am going to test the theory regarding work, passion and interests.   It seems that the career mavens, passion gurus and leadership brains believe that one should follow the aforementioned items and the results will follow.

I am going to take them up on this challenge.  I have committed to pursuing the three areas that have the greatest intrinsic value to me and see if positive results follow.  The three areas include career development, leadership coaching and emerging leaders.  I commit to my readership that I will start my own business with full heart and energy and on 4.11.13 report back to this blog with the results.

I will test their theory and I will document my findings.  This all started back in 2009 when I ventured off to explore my heart's passion through a massive career exploration process. What resulted was a picture of a cause which centers around helping others find their own cause and become the best possible leaders in the their work and life.

Book Review: Lance Secretan

I have found another favorite author. Lance Secretan is a leadership maven and a heart guy. He dismantles the thought that leadership is only about financial metrics, making tough decisions and getting people to do stuff.

Instead, Lance proposes that leaders have heart, passion, values and are inspirational.  In fact, he would go so far as to say that leaders need to inspire others regularly.

Here are a few highlights from the book "The Spark, The Flame, The Torch":

• The greatest gift a leader can give his/her followers is to inspire them
• People need to be developed and they are counting on you to do it
• People will leave you if you do not take time to help them get to where they want to go

A couple of my favorite quotes:

"Success is not the key to happiness.  Happiness is the key to success.  If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." Albert Schweitzer

"As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being" Carl Jung

"We are leaving what Time magazine called "The Decade from Hell," and there is a yearning for a new beginning, an opportunity to create and enjoy a brighter future- A Decade of Meaning and Fulfillment"

It is time to create the decade of meaning and fulfillment for others.  America is counting on it. 

Mentoring and Perspective

This past Friday I enjoyed a great lunch with a friend and mentor.  I continue to use the word perspective in each of my conversations with him.  Perspective according to Webster's is really about the state of one's ideas at that point in time.  In art, as the picture illustrates, perspective is an effect brought about by distance.

My mentor provides perspective because he has been on the earth for about 30 years longer than I have. He has had more of the major experiences in life and is able to draw on his learnings in each one of my life situations.  He can then share those perspectives with me.

What do I gain from his perspective during this time:

• Calm: I gain a sense of calm that someone else has been here, survived it, learned from it and it resulted in a greater sense of purpose through the transition process.
• Knowledge: I am able to apply his learnings to my situation, even if not all of the situations are applicable.
• Stay Present In Today: I learn that this is important no matter where you are at in your life stage.  The people in your life today need you to be you because that is your greatest value. 
• Give Yourself Permission To Journey:  Life is truly a process. Life is not the destination. We are not here to get to a destination.  The journey is the destination.   

I hope this perspective has been helpful to you in your journey.  It sure has been helpful to me. 

The Impasse and Purpose

30 days ago, I picked up a book I read previously entitled "The Power of Intention" by Dr. Dyer.  I read this for the first time about 7 years ago and found the principles very useful back then.  Today, it has had even more meaning.  A few months I ago I blogged about the impasse.  The impasse I have been in has had me feeling uninspired.  In fact, I probably have allowed my thoughts to keep me from being inspired.

Dr. Dyer writes about our purpose and so I thought, I would let his words of inspiration for those of us at the impasse.

* "If you think you are separate from your purpose and that you are drifting without purpose, then this is exactly what you will attract."  p. 150
* "There's a silent something within that intends  you to express yourself.  That something is your soul telling you to listen and connect through love, kindness, and receptivity to the power of intention." p.152
* "Expand you reality to the point where you pursue what you love doing and excel at it."  p.236

The last quote is very powerful.  Pursue that work, that activity and that life so that what you love doing is your life.  Worry not about the financial reward and the acclimation.  Allow your thoughts and actions marinate in the parts of life that inspire you.  For me, that is work that is about serving others to help them become all that they are intended to become.

The Impasse

Defined as the predicament with no possible out or escape.  A personal impasse in my mind is that feeling of I am stuck, unclear and downright frustrated.  You keep trying to gain clarity for yourself and yet you still feel that sense of impasse.

The last 90-120 days have been that for me in many ways.   I have allowed the externalities of life and work to make things hazy for me.  The picture above sorta describes how I have felt.  The picture evokes several emotions for me.

However, there have been some great learnings during this time of the personal impasse.  I thought I would share a few of my learnings:

* Stay clear on "You." In other words, go with who you are it is the best thing you can bring to life and work
* The cause is right in front of you each day.  Start there and build from there.
* Uncertainty creates anxiety, yet it also will result in passion, creativity and clarity if you can sit in it and let it do its work

How about your impasse learnings?

Crisis Leadership

Webster's would define a crisis as, "A time of intense difficulty, trouble or danger." We all respond differently to those times when there is great difficultly, trouble or danger.  Some of us would hide, while others seize the moment and try to create clarity for others.  Look at history and you see times where leaders would come to the table and create clarity for others during a challenging time.

For me, I would rather engage with people.  After all, they are the ones that will have navigate through the difficulty or danger and make something positive happen.  Here are a few suggestions as you deal with a potential crisis in your work or life:

* Run toward the issues vs. running from the issues
* Re-state the vision for the future vs. questioning the vision for the future
* Help those that want to run from the crisis find their way to engage in the midst of the crisis
* Be careful to blame others for the crisis. Make the problem a group problem to solve.

A leader finds a way in the midst of crisis to build stronger relationships and re-align others to the compelling vision.