Waving the Magic Wand

Another suggestion by my coach was to wave the "Magic Wand" and come up with the perfect picture of what I would be doing, what I would be making and what I would have in my next career. So here is a brief snapshot of my thoughts, in no particular order just mere stream of consciousness. So maybe there is an order here???

* I would be making six figures
* I would be 1:1 70% of the time
* I would be training 20% of the time
* I would be planning/reading/prepping/training the other 10%
* I would feel like what I am doing is a mere overlap of who I am from the inside out
* I would have a cause that is personal and comes from my own story in some personal way
* I would be pursued by others who are in the same journey and wish to enter into that story
* I would have other opportunities in the next five years to pursue
* I would have autonomy
* I would have tons of variety

Anyone know Harry Potter on a personal basis? Please send me an introduction via Facebook or LinkedIn.

Another Thought

This is a desire of mine or something that I want. I want more of who I am to be a part of what I do. There was a test I took early on before entering into the financial services business and it reviewed the natural and adaptive style. The natural style is of course all about what you do or how you work, which comes pretty naturally.

The adaptive style is sort the forcing of yourself to do certain things that you do not want to do. For example, each and every time I garden I am adapting. I do not enjoy gardening, but I do it cause I gotta. Everyone of us adapts in life and work.

Looking forward to working in my natural style.

The Great Question

I received some great coaching last night. I was asked a few challenging questions to ponder. The first being if there is a financial goal does that mean the cause is not genuine. The initial answer is that non-profit organizations and for profit organizations must generate revenue to maintain and grow.

I think the question causes me to wrestle a bit and wonder why I am in need of a transition. The answer for me is that what I do or the method in which I am helping people is not enough. Typically, the method in which I am helping people is through consulting. "I would recommend you select this plan." The reality is that this is what customers are coming to me to do. Provide me a few options, ask some delving questions to see what their needs are and provide a solution. Typically, this happens during the course of one or two meetings.

I recall stating early on that something was missing in my sales role. The need to go deeper with people's lives and help them make a decision or get unstuck through a counseling / mentoring type role. 

The next step is to find the genuine cause for me, which allows me to pour the methods in which I like to work into that profit or non-profit organization. I cannot wait!

A Cause Not A Job

I have to keep reminding myself that this is a journey for a cause not a job. It seems the minute I begin to think of this as a job search I get discouraged and down. I do feel that this is a search for an opportunity to have my personal cause to intersect with an opportunity to make a living for myself and my family.

I think there are some things about my own story, which could become a cause:
* When I was 7 years old, I was the person in my house who asked my parents if we could help a family in need for Christmas.
* When I was 5 years old, my dad indicated that I was always wanting to share a cracker or snack with him.
* Growing up I was the neighborhood leader. Initiating fun activities and calling my friends over to play an exciting game of hot box.
* In college, I was the person who gathered students together for a Bible study because I felt like it was important.
* I remember very much enjoying 1:1 conversations helping my classmates get unstuck in their lives.

Random thoughts after a tough Monday...

Thoughts from my friend...

I think it is helpful to obtain feedback from friends during a time of exploration. Yesterday, I was able to have lunch with a great friend and former colleague. I just asked the question "When have you seen me come alive, in flow or full of engagement in my work?" Here is what he shared with me:

* I have seen you at your best when you are 1:1 and are able to help others get unstuck in their lives, work or anything else.

* It really does not matter if you are doing IT consulting, ministry or selling insurance you are helping others get from point A to point B

* You seem to do well when you are able to have an engagement with someone that is not defined as forever. 6 - 8 weeks of engagement is strong for you due to your short attention span.

* The Detroit Pistons had a player named Vinny Johnson. He would come in for short periods and provide great energy then sit down. Same thing for you.

I then shared that what I have seen during these interviews is that many people who are considered "caused" have a personal experience or happening that brought them to their cause.

I think this is what I am looking for a sense of sincerity about my work that comes from my own life story. Not someone else's story or cause.

Current emotional state today: encouraged, hopeful, not stuck. As an ISFJ, I long for closure on this. I have roughly 72 days until this project is over.

The layers of what you can know...

I am faced with a decision right now. I realized last night that I was in my head just trying to figure it all out. The reality is that this process of 50 interviews in 90 days will only allow me to obtain answers to the things that are actually knowable. There is always going to be a fair amount of uncertainty. This then creates anxiety.

Also, even when I find this new position, cause or job there will still be pain and hard. I may even be fully engaged, but the hard will still be there. The cause will be too, which provides comfort because then it really feels worth it to me. This creates anxiety too because I probably believe or expect that a life lived with cause could be anxiety free. Yikes, this is an unreal expectation.

A few things I believe that are true here:
* I can find a position or job that has a cause I can connect with
* I can find a position that allows me to coach, mentor, have tangible goals, teach and counsel
* I can find a place that has me engaged for a greater part of my day than the lessor part of my day.
* This is truly a journey. The next big decision will not be my last. It could be just the beginning of getting closer.
* I cannot know it all. There will be uncertainty and this creates anxiety. I can handle it though.

The $ or the Cause or Both

I have great appreciation for entrepreneurs. There is great passion for their business, service model or product. Additionally, the great ones live eat and think about making sure the bottom line is healthy and that revenue is increasing. I have never felt that kind of pressure nor been in their shoes.

I kept thinking that I would eventually develop this same sense of passion within myself. I even thought that something was wrong with me because I was not "wired" that way. The entreprenuerial spirit is one that I do not feel I have in my soul.

I do feel that there is a difference in mission for the for profit and the non-profit. The non-profit keeps its doors open so that it can fulfill its mission. That could be for the arts, the poor, children, education and a host of others. If the goal is not met in the non-profit world the doors shut. If the goal is not met in the business world the doors are shut.

I would like to suggest that the mission does not continue if the doors are shut for the non-profit or the experience is no longer provided. This is true for the for profit too I am sure. I wonder if this is more about the fact that both do have mission, it is whether your heart is engaged in the mission.

Last night, I felt confused and in dispair because I was still trying to grapple and understand the distinction between the two. Perhaps, I just had not put it to rest yet the reason I need to make a transition. The key is the "cause" for me. I will continue the journey. My heart is open. I doubt that it will stop with my next career decision though.